Two Obstacles that Impede Contentment
In the pursuit of happiness, a complex journey awaits us. Dorothee Salchow, a trainer and coach for Positive Psychology, emphasizes the importance of allowing all emotions to exist, as they contribute to our well-being in various ways.
Experts agree that negative feelings, such as sadness, fear, or insecurity, alert us to something being wrong and possibly requiring action. On the other hand, positive emotions, like pleasure, inspiration, gratitude, love, awe, interest, pride, joy, calmness, and hope, contribute to our well-being and can be actively brought into our lives.
A study conducted by Steven Hayes and colleagues found that the key to experiencing happiness is not to strive for it, but rather how we approach it. Hayes suggests asking oneself: "What is a small thing I can do to bring more happiness into my life?"
However, Experiential Attachment, or trying to hold onto positive feelings experienced, tends to result in consistently less happiness. If one is not ready to lose a positive emotion, they have already lost it, writes Hayes. In the pursuit of happiness, it's important to do so wisely, without falling into traps that drain life energy.
For some individuals, Positivity Prioritizing can lead to clinging to positive feelings, which is problematic. Equally problematic is clinging to positive feelings, as it can lead to losing sight of the purpose of emotions and the meaning of warning signals.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a unique approach to happiness. This mindfulness-based therapy teaches that trying to suppress or avoid painful emotions often backfires, causing more distress, while clinging too tightly to positive emotions (like joy) can diminish their experience and reduce well-being over time.
ACT encourages openness to the full range of human experiences and emphasizes living meaningfully despite uncomfortable feelings. A central aspect of ACT is accepting negative feelings, letting go, and using that energy to act consciously and committedly in line with one's values.
A subgroup of individuals who consciously seek positive experiences (Positivity Prioritizing) experienced a "happiness booster" over the study period. However, another subgroup found that Positivity Prioritizing did not directly help their happiness.
In summary, ACT views well-being not as constant happiness or avoidance of hardship, but as psychologically flexible engagement with life’s experiences: accepting emotions without needless struggle and acting consistently with one’s deeply held values to find fulfillment and resilience.
US psychologist Steven C. Hayes, co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and foundation professor at the University of Nevada in Reno, writes about the complexities of happiness in a contribution to "Psychology Today." He advises to do something loving to feel more love, create something beautiful to see more beauty, and try to catch a happy moment without holding onto it. By embracing all emotions and living meaningfully, we can find a path to genuine happiness.
Embracing all emotions, including positive ones like love and joy, is crucial for our mental health and overall well-being, as advised by Dorothee Salchow, a trainer in Positive Psychology. In line with this, US psychologist Steven C. Hayes, a co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), suggests doing something loving to feel more love, creating something beautiful to see more beauty, and attempting to catch a happy moment without holding onto it, to experience genuine happiness.
